This is the story of how two strong willed individuals created a successful, exciting and rewarding 50+ year marriage– becoming more of who they are as a couple than as individuals, without stifling the personal growth of either one. There is sage wisdom here, whether you are married or not.
WHAT IS MARRIAGE, ANYWAY?
Almost no one is foolish enough to imagine that he automatically deserves great success in any field of activity; yet almost everyone believes that he automatically deserves success in marriage. Sydney J. Harris.
Like most everyone else in the mid-20th century, we entered into marriage without a plan. If you were in love, marriage was the thing to do. Society definitely condoned it; maybe even expected and demanded it. The fact that divorce was becoming a national epidemic didn’t faze us for a minute. There was no official “marriage” operating manual. None was needed; our parents had made it look easy, so what’s the big deal.
The big deal is, it turns out, that marriage is a lot of work; it doesn’t just automatically work out for the best. They say if couples knew how much work and expense kids were, they’d never have them, and the same can probably be said about marriage….except you can never change your mind about being a parent.
We’re not against divorce, per se, but we do think many couples give up too soon, and what’s more, the dysfunctional behavior patterns that caused the first marriage to fail are going to be carried forth into subsequent marriages. Ultimately, we have to embrace and manage our own dysfunction if we want successful relationships of any kind in our lives.
Joseph Campbell, American Mythologist, writer and lecturer, had this to say about marriage:
“… marriage is not a love affair. A love affair has to do with immediate personal satisfaction. But marriage is an ordeal; it means yielding, time and again. That's why it's a sacrament: you give up your personal simplicity to participate in a relationship. And when you're giving, you're not giving to the other person: you're giving to the relationship. And if you realize you are in the relationship just as the other person is, then it becomes life building, a life fostering and enriching experience, not an impoverishment because you're giving to somebody else . . . each helping the other to flower, rather than just moving into the standard archetype. It's a wonderful moment when people can make the decision to be something quite astonishing and unexpected, rather than cookie-mold products."
Click here to order Rev. Marilyn and Kent Pelz met on a blind date in June, 1961, were engaged five days later and married six months later. Marilyn had just graduated from Kansas State University with a BS in Math, and Kent had graduated 3 years earlier with a BS in Journalism from Kansas University. Their marriage began in Kansas City. They moved to Malibu, CA in 1970 and raised their family there for 30 years, after which they to San Jose, CA in 2000. They have two grown daughters, Molly and Mindy and four grandchildren.
After moving to San Jose, they both earned RScP spiritual practitioner certificates from Centers for Spiritual Living, and Marilyn followed that with an MS in Higher Consciousness from Agape International Spiritual Center in Los Angeles. She flew from San Jose to Los Angeles 33 weeks a year for four years to earn her ministerial degree.
They co-founded Heart Space Teachings in San Jose in 2011 a nondenominational, new-thought, ageless wisdom spiritual center. Their teaching sources include new-though, ageless wisdom brought into the light by spiritual masters throughout the ages: Buddha, Jesus, Saint Teresa of Avila, Ernest Holmes, Michael Bernard Beckwith, Oprah, Wayne Dyer. Eckhart Tolle, Deepok Chopra, Mooji and many, many more. More about Heart Space Teachings at www.heartspaceteachings.com.
“Forever Just Married” is their first book. It is the result of years of study and teaching about “making relationships work” and other related subjects. They have no plans to retire from their current avocation. The website for the book is www.foreverjustmarried.com.